The hero and the kid with the blue hat
by cattaclysm
Summary: Some things are difficult to explain, like how people react to things. Like how my parents reacted to me leaving the country with a blond idiot. Speaking of, how he manages to make everything seem nice, like everything was fine. It was. Everything was gonna be okay. My parents are going to disown me and my sister probably hates me but everything is going to be okay.


Some things are very difficult to explain, like how people react to different things. Like how Kenny's reaction to my new car was calling me a raving douche and hopping in regardless, while I told him times and times over to watch the seats. He didn't, by the way, I had to make him wash them after he got ketchup on them like the moron that he is. But that's okay. Everything was okay.

With him, anyway, everything was fine. He had a sort of way to make everything seem just fine no matter what. I only took notice of these magic powers when I got scolded badly by my parents for getting sent to the principal's office for the umpteenth time and Kenny gave me a slightly homosexual hug and patted my back and I felt safe because I had my buddy there.

"Craig, you jackass, get up!" something awoke me from my thoughts. What a dumb, rude voice. It was the 19th of June and I finally managed to get a good night's sleep only to be woken up by someone screaming my name. I sat up and groggily took in my surroundings. My room, nice and boring. I wiped my eyes and they stung from the light a bit but I hopped onto my feet and stumbled over to the window to see who it was. I saw a blob of orange and I considered walking away, but this was my best friend and that would be kind of douchey.

"What do you want?" I called after opening the window. It was so early.

"Summer isn't gonna wait for your sorry ass, Craig, we have a world to save!" he yelled and waved at me to come outside. I flipped him off and stuck my tongue out at him before darting back inside to get some clothes on.

Dark cargo shorts and a T-shirt? That works I guess. I just grabbed what was closest and threw it on. I ran into the bathroom to take a leak and brush my teeth and whatnot. I ran a brush through my hair, got my shoes on and barreled out the door over to Kenny who grabbed me in a big hug and stumbled back at my weight. He laughed against my neck and released me from his grip, at which point I decided to ask what the plan was.

"Did you tell your parents?"

"Tell them what?" I was avoiding the subject. No way was I gonna tell them.

"That you think about your best friend when you jerk off and you're going to France with him, duh!" he patted my back and I sighed.

"That's gonna get me thrown out."

"Even better!" he laughed and ran ahead of me and in the back of my mind I wondered where we were going. It didn't matter, I'd follow him to the Earth's core, "You don't have to ask their permission to come."

"Ugh, fine, I'll tell them tonight."

"Hey," he eyed me, a gentle tone to his voice this time, "You know, no matter what happens, we're still gonna chill in Paris. Not every day you win a free pair of ship or whatever tickets and a hotel room," he ran his hands through my hair and I huffed. What if they killed me?

"What if they kill me?" I deadpanned and he narrowed his eyes at me.

"They won't kill you," he assured, "You're just dating a dude, no big deal. If you get kicked out or something we could just get jobs over there and stuff, we're in Paris for 2 months, man."

"What about school?" I asked, still following him god knows where.

"School's for chumps. We're writers, man! The whole world is our class!" He threw his hands up, "And we've got stories to tell and books to sell!" and I laughed because Kenny managed to be optimistic while calling me a moron.

"I guess," I mumbled and he threw an arm over my shoulder and kissed my cheek. I was going to tell them. Tonight, I was going to tell my parents. There were still plenty of hours left. I was going to tell them. I chanted the words in my head as a mantra of sorts as we walked.

"Where are we going?" I inquired, finally.

"To eat," he answered, as if it was absolutely logical. Although I guess it was, since it was morning and neither of us got to grab any food.

"Yeah, but where?"

"You'll see."

After a few more minutes of walking we came by a bakery. I'm not a fan of pastries but they're cheap. So Kenny grabbed a couple and guided me off to a nearby part.

He tossed the paper into the trashcan since he was finished eating, while I took the last few bites out of my own food before handing the paper to him to toss it with the other one.

"So Paris, huh?" I sighed. It was such an odd thought, to be leaving South Park for 2 months.

"Yeah, Paris," he ran his hands through his blonde hair and flashed a smile and I swear my heart stopped, "It's gonna be pretty rad," he threw his head back on the bench he was sitting on and blew some air out idly.

"What did your parents say?" I asked. Surely it wasn't as bad as what mine will say.

"Told me to find a job there and get married so I don't end up piss poor in my 40s like them," he said. And then we laughed again. His parents were really kind of nice, if you look past their fighting. Mine aren't bad, they're just... a bit stuck in the 80s... the 1880s. Maybe not that bad, but still.

"Man, mine are gonna kill me," I said blankly, they totally were.

"They're not gonna kill you, dude. I'll kill you, though, if you don't tell them."

And the day went by and before I knew it the sun was setting, an instant reminder of the inevitable. I was going to tell them. _I was going to tell them_.

"I'm gonna tell them," I said as we got up to leave and Kenny pinched my cheek.

"I know you are," he assured. He was so certain about everything. Maybe that's why he made everything seem okay.

"If I'm not out in 10 minutes, I'm dead."

"If you're not out in 10 minutes I'll tell them myself," he threatened. He was absolutely serious.

We walked back to my house and I told Kenny to wait outside. Our boat ship thing would leave in 6h so we had enough time to get to the harbor. My bags lay in my car, there was no time to pack if I was going to get murdered. I stepped foot inside my home and it never felt less of one. This place where I grew up and felt safe now felt like a courtroom and my parents were the judge and jury. They eyed me suspiciously, probably cause I seemed a bit distraught, contrast to my usual expression of indifference.

"Mum, Dad, um..." I was going to tell them, "I..." I couldn't quite say it. The words wouldn't leave my mouth. I was going to say it. I was going to tell them right now.

They stared at me for what seemed like hours and I shut my eyes and decided to just let it out, there was no other way to do it.

"I like guys, okay!" I said, "And I'm kind of dating Kenny and we're going to Paris for two months cause he won some tickets," and with that I mumbled an apology and turned towards the door. Just then, a blonde haired idiot burst inside.

"I'm here!" he yelled and then stopped. He looked at my parents' blank expression, and then he looked at me. Parents. Me. Parents. Me, "Sorry about that," he laughed and grabbed my arm and rushed me out the door.

"I thought you died!" he yelled as we stepped out into the cool summer air, "I was ready to call 911!"

And then I shuffled over to a secluded area in my garden and crashed my lips to his. Out of reassurance? Probably. Mine, most likely.

"It's okay, right?" I asked, "My parents are probably going to disown me, Ruby most likely hates me and everyone is disappointed in me but it's going to be okay. Right?" I needed him to assure me, he was good at that.

"Of course it is!" he laughed and grabbed his luggage. I suppose he grabbed it when I was inside? I don't know, this kid was fucking magic. He pulled me into the passenger's seat of my _own damn car_ and we zoomed off into the night, "Don't worry, we're heroes here!"

He was so certain, he was probably right. He always was. I felt a smile tug at my lips as I looked out the window.

_'Time to save the world.'_


End file.
